


You're Beautiful Even When You Cry

by Commandant



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-11
Updated: 2013-09-11
Packaged: 2017-12-26 06:34:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/962737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Commandant/pseuds/Commandant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Gauis reacts when he learns about Wingul's operation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Beautiful Even When You Cry

Wingul’s memories for the days following the operation were hazy and fragmented at best. He lost track of time passing, floating indiscriminately between conscious and unconscious. The only constant was the pain throughout his whole body, but especially in his head and chest. In his brief moments of lucidity, he felt as if he wasn’t even capable of controlling his own body. But he refused to give up, even after distinctly making out the sound of the word "failed" through the haze. It was for Gaius. He could do it if it was for Gaius. 

He was so frequently the subject of Wingul’s thoughts, how he spoke of his goals and ideals with absolute conviction, the times when he’d fearlessly fight through a wall of soldiers to come to the aid of one of his men, the way his bare body looked, splayed out on his mattress, glistening with sweat.  
There was nothing about this man that Wingul didn’t find beautiful.

It was because of this that when he opened his eyes to be met with that man’s familiar gaze, his eyes rosy red like the sky at dawn, that nothing seemed amiss. Not until Wingul realized where he was did it occur to him why Gaius should not be standing at his bedside. Deep down, he knew he was in trouble. But at this point he was too tired to express anything other than confusion. "Arst…? How…" His voice came out hoarse, half the volume it would normally be.

Gaius frowned. Normally Wingul could read Gaius like a book even where others found him inscrutable, but today he couldn’t tell if it was a frown of anger or worry. In actuality it was both. "I made Jiao tell me. You two have been disappearing more and more frequently and when he came back without you I got suspicious." Gaius leaned over to brush the hair away from Wingul’s face, his hand falling tor rest for a moment on the younger man’s forehead. "Apparently I was right to worry."

"I’m not…" Wingul started to speak, but trailed off, unable to think of a proper excuse. 

"I’ve been here a day and a half and this is the first time you’ve been lucid enough to realize it, Lin." The tone of his voice was as straightforward as it usually was, but being unshakeable on the outside was what he was best at, after all.

Of course Wingul knew that Gaius was upset with him. He hadn’t told him what he’d planned to do precisely because he knew it wouldn’t sit well with him. He had intended to tell him after he’d recovered but he knows that doesn’t excuse it. So, preemptively, he apologises, "I’m sorry. I was… It was something I had to do."

Gaius sits on the edge of the bed, his shoulders slumping slightly. "You idiot. If it was necessary you wouldn’t have had to hide it from me." Wingul couldn’t think of how to respond, but when he saw Gaius’s hand clench tightly around the sheets, he instinctively reached out towards it. Gaius’s face didn’t acknowledge it, but his hand opened up, lacing his strong fingers between Wingul’s long, pale ones. Gaius had a grip strong enough to make you feel like he could break your hand, but when he held Wingul’s it was no more firm than it needed to be. They remained like this for a while before Gaius spoke again. "What if you had died?" he asked, with the clear understanding that it had been a real possibility. 

Wingul faltered. He knew this of course. But to have Gaius bring it up now, when he was so clearly upset, for a moment he felt as if he’d made a mistake. But he dismissed the thought immediately. "If I wasn’t strong enough to endure this much… I wouldn't be fit to stand at your side anyway."

Gaius’s face broke, finally turning to face Wingul. It was not a face that Wingul knew exactly how to describe, other than the distinct impression that Gaius was about to hit him. His body tensed up involuntarily, but the raised palm stopped, just as the expression on Gaius’s face melted into something Wingul didn’t want to see. He could handle mad. He had expected mad. Instead, the hand collides with his face in more of a shove, and just sort of stays there, half obstructing Wingul’s view. Just as well, really. His hand moves up to hold Gaius’s in place. But he couldn’t look away, even though it hurt to see tears stain the face of this perfect man, this paragon of strength, the man he revered and loved with all his heart. Gaius didn’t cry. He would have his moments of weakness; he was only human, but never like this. "No one is more fit to be at my side than you." Gaius bit his lip and took a shuddering breath before taking a minute to regain his composure. 

Both men were content to sit in silence, for a while. Gaius sat absently smoothing out Wingul’s hair, it having been all mussed up by days of feverish tossing and turning. Normally when Gaius was upset, Wingul would do the same to him. He supposed this must be just as calming. For a moment, Wingul opens his mouth to apologise, but then realizes that it isn’t what Gaius wants to hear. Instead he speaks quietly again, "I understand." His breath hitches as Gaius’s hand moves down to wipe a tear from his eye. Wingul hadn’t even realized he’d been crying.

There was a hint of a laugh at the corner of Gaius’s lips. "You used to look like a brat when you cried, but now it’s beautiful even when you’re like this." 

Wingul made a face, but didn’t react, the jibe was a comment Gaius had made before. After a moment's pause, he spoke up, "When else?"

Gaius seemed caught off guard by the question, but just when Wingul thought he wasn’t going to answer, he responded simply, "Always. You’re always beautiful."


End file.
